Too soon

Things are pretty sad around here. This weekend has gone by so fast- just like my time here. I feel like I've been here for 5 minutes in some ways, and 5 years in others. Being here I've learned a lot about myself, and just about being self sufficient and relying on yourself for happiness, no one else. Besides the fact I live with a family, and financially I'm calling my USA mom 24/7 to know how much money I have- more like, don't have, it's me, here. I was lucky and was placed at the same school as Martina- whom I love to death. If I didn't have her, I don't know what I would do. Because as much I as I explain, show pictures, try to put it into words, no one will ever understand me or my experience like I do, in France. With Martina- she is experiencing some of the same things- in the same place, so it's easy to connect. But I guess my exchange in France will always be something I hold close to me. Not just the people I met, or the things I experienced, but the growth both mentally and educationally I've accomplished. Going into this- I didn't think I could last a week, and here I am 4 months and still alive! Wether you understand or not is not the point, but the fact that I can tell myself, you lived in France, at 15, going in with no one but yourself, you can do anything. And it's true. I feel like if you set your head to it, you really can. I'm coming home with some of the best friends I'll ever have, people I'll never forget and a passion I never thought I'd find. I always saw my friends with their sports, or their instruments, or drawing, or dancing, and stuff like that and never thought I would actually be that into something, but I found it, and it's French. It's weird that feeling of absolutely LOVING what you're doing. It's like I talk, and it just spills out without thought. Although sometimes I'm talking so fast it just comes out in mumbles or nonsense, usually I can full express myself- which is awesome.
So don't get me wrong people at home, I'm excited to see everyone, I'm excited to be in good old Durham. But now I'll have that feeling of never being home. When I'm home in the USA, I'll want to be chez moi en France. And vice-versa. So I'm not sure. I have mixed feelings about returning. Although I my family is at home, in NC, I have a family now here too...